Norah
Norah Dykes Whitby was born at home in Mill Street Crewe on 30 December 1942 to Mum Winfred Mary and Dad Harry. She was one of 7 children. Dad was a cook in the Army and in June 1940 was evacuated from the beaches at Dunkirk complete with Cooking Pans strapped around his neck. He owed his life to his sergeant who leaned over the side of the rescue landing craft and pulled him aboard from under the waves - complete with pans! I think we owe the existence of our lovely Norah to that brave sergeant who saved her Dad.
 Dad Harry later became a Postman and was renowned as a grumpy fearsome character with strict Methodist principles and a very short fuse. He delivered mail to outlying farms and my childhood home and he knew me and my family.
I left school in 1959 to work for the Inland Revenue at Old Trafford Manchester. I returned to Crewe every weekend to see family and friends and go to the Oddfellows Working Men’s Club where my friend Mick Harding and I went for our games of snooker.
I first met Norah early in 1960.
At the Oddfellows Club Saturday night was dance night. As you might expect in a couple of healthy 17-year-old lads, friend Mick and I indulged in our other favourite hobby of talent spotting after our snooker. One night we spotted a couple of cracking birds standing in the doorway. We went over and started chatting them up. One was a Welsh girl -Jane - and the other her very shy friend Norah. Norah was wearing an open long blue coat and hardly spoke.
 As we started chatting a strange feeling hit me - Cupids dart had struck home! It was love- love at first sight! I fancied Norah like mad but our chat up lines did not get me or Mick anywhere. These two were hard cookies. Unfortunately for Mick we were joined by a rival for Jane’s affection - Norah’s brother Gerald. So Mick and I gave up and went home.
This chat up routine became a regular event whenever Mick and I spotted Jane and Norah at the dances. I was not giving up – I kept trying! It looked as though Jane preferred Norah’s brother David to Gerald but nothing was to come of that. My ardent romantic overtures continued. I wanted to take Norah out on a date to the Pictures (Movies nowadays). I was mercilessly rebuffed week after week.
Norah told me as I worked in Manchester and she lived in Crewe she did not know what I got up to in Manchester - I could have girlfriends all over the place she said!
However, there was a little hope. Over the weeks I got a dance or two with Norah always wearing that long blue coat as we waltzed around. It must have looked odd but I did not care – I was so happy dancing! I think Norah was too.
In March 1961 the Revenue said I could transfer to the Crewe Office - my prayers had finally been answered. This news was greeted with great suspicion by Norah- but on 1 April 1961 after much pestering she finally relented and said “yes!” to the oft requested Date on condition it was not a Sunday or there would be trouble from her Dad! 😊A Date on Saturday was not possible for some reason.
Eventually I persuaded Norah to take the risk so on Sunday 3rd April we met at the Odeon Cinema in Crewe to see “The Wackiest Ship In The Army”. Waiting for her I was worried Norah might have run into trouble from her Dad or changed her mind or had been joking just to let me down as it was 1st April when she said “Yes!”.
But she was there for me – looking stunning in that famous blue coat. Wow - I was over the moon! During the film I got all sorts of warnings from Norah not to incur her father’s wrath– he thought Sundays were for Church not cinemas. I also got dire warnings about what he would do if I misbehaved. We did not see much of the film and I did behave – well that night at least! But I pinched my very first Goodnight kiss!!!
In our courting days Norah relied on the bus to get from Crewe to meet me and my Mum at our house at Basford.  I must have been an amazing sight as she raced to the bus stop on the last-minute clutching hat and handbag in her hands holding down her miniskirt struggling to keep her balance in high heels trying to get there before the bus. The bus drivers loved it all and often took pity on her stopping the bus well short of the official stop as she happily boarded somewhat out of breath.
Walking Norah the mile or so back to the bus stop afterwards was quite exciting at times. If we were running late for the last bus especially if it was dark, I would give Norah a somewhat illegal and wobbly “crossbar ride” whilst keeping an eye open for the local bobby in his car. He often caught us and we got away with very stern warnings to walk!  But we just walked on a few yards as he watched us. Once his car disappeared round the bend, we were back on the crossbar again to the bus stop. Hey ho!!
Fishing was another pastime Norah enjoyed until the day she caught a large eel. This wound itself around the line climbing up towards the top of the rod which Norah promptly dropped in the water as she ran away screaming!
On a different fishing trip, we set up the rods about an hour before dawn and Norah settled down under a blanket on the bank of the lake soon to fall asleep. Imagine her surprise to be rudely wakened just as day was breaking by a very large cow licking her face whilst dozens of others stood nearby looking on! In the dark we had not spotted that we had set up at the cows watering hole! Norah did not think that was funny – but I did!
And the much-feared Dad turned out to be not so bad after all – he had a mischievous sense of humour and he seemed to quite like me for some reason. Sadly, he died from a heart attack in 1962 aged 53.
Norah’s sister Nancy married Alan Green on 3rd October 1964. I was honoured to be Alan’s best man. Our beautiful nieces then arrived - Beverley in1965, Stephanie in 1966, Caroline (Caz) in 1973 and Sarah in1977. Tragically Baby Michael Alan died on15th December 1970 just a month after he was born – a very sad loss which affected us all.
Norah’s brother Gerald, sisters Gladys and Mary all produced nephews and nieces. The Iversens – David, Sue, Carol, Toby and the late Colin were also a very important part of mine and Norah’s life - trips to and from Rastrick and Crewe to see everyone were regular and often. Gerald and his wife Chris’s children Karen and David brought added pleasure to the Crewe trips.
Norah’s widowed mother Winifred married Ken on 2nd October 1965 when she was 55 and he was 37.  Ken proved to be a great and loving stepfather who readily took to his parental duties for the 7 children, some nearly as old as him! Ken was just 5 years older than Norah’s oldest brother and was old fashioned enough to ask Norah’s brother David as “head of the household” if it would be alright with him and the family for Ken to propose to Winifred.
Romantic as well as kind and good natured –dear Ken!
David and the family could hardly say “No!” seeing Ken and Winifred so loving and happy. They had 25 wonderful years together until Winifred died in 1990.
Back to the 1960’s again. A year or two after Norah’s dad died in 1962 Norah and I got engaged.
And so started the serious business of saving for our wedding and getting a deposit for a house. We both worked all the overtime we could get – Norah as a machinist at County Clothes who were famous for handmade Savile Row suits made to special order as Chester Barrie. One day Norah got to work on a suit for David Coleman much to the envy of her colleagues who had to explain he was the most famous sports commentator of his day – Norah did not know!
Shift time the main factory changed to 5.00pm from 5.30pm - except for Norah’s Cutting Room who remained fixed at 5.30pm. The first day the 5.00pm leaving hooter sounded,  Norah’s amply built foreman Bert Barker blocked the Cutting Room doorway with arms outstretched telling everyone to go back and stay at their benches until 5.30pm. Norah decided if 5.00pm was good enough for the rest it was good enough for her and the rest of the Cutting Room! She dived under Bert’s arms and made good her escape only to be caught a few minutes later and returned crestfallen to her machine. Shortly after that, finishing time was standardised at 5.00pm for all.
Norah’s brother David worked as a Fireman on the railways with Driver Jack Mills as his regular team mate.
In 1963 David then aged 25 was roughly treated in the Great Train Robbery which saw driver Jack Mills badly beaten. The family always attribute David ‘s untimely death from a heart attack aged 34 to his experiences in the Great Train Robbery. There are streets named after both David Whitby and Jack Mills in Crewe and Norah was so proud and delighted to hear my running commentary as we drove along them a couple of years ago. She was by then blind.
But going back - 1966 was a fantastic year - England won the World Cup!
Norah’s sister Nancy gave birth to Stephanie on 1st May in 1966.
And oh yes – I nearly forgot – Norah and I got married on 1 October 1966 in her Methodist Church a few doors up from the family home in Mill Street. We followed the family tradition being the third couple to marry in early October in consecutive years! Our reception for 30 family and friends was at The Vine Inn at Shavington – a pub with an excellent menu.
Before the wedding we booked a theatre show for every night of the honeymoon and we booked a B&B in Blackpool.
After our reception off we went on the train for our honeymoon. We had no car and it was too far to go on my bike especially using the crossbar for Norah!
The weather was terrible but we did not care! We were newlyweds trying to find the confetti hiding in our clothes and hoping no one would notice or know that were just married. We had the shows to look forward to with the likes of David Nixon, Arthur Askey, Ken Dodd and many other famous entertainers of the day.
A week later we returned to the little bungalow in Ludlow Avenue Crewe which we bought a couple of weeks earlier for £1500.We paid the deposit out of our own money and needed a mortgage. No “bank of Mum and Dad” then!
Work continued -Norah left County Clothes and became an assistant in a Wallpaper shop. One day to the amusement of her colleagues and her own embarrassed delight Norah was presented with a Mars Bar by an elderly customer who had returned specially to see her because “you have love in your eyes” he said, having apparently noticed this when Norah had helped him choose his wallpaper from a top shelf. Her colleagues thought the customer had been admiring Norah’s legs rather than her eyes! Hmm!
My bike got stolen from outside The Express pub where Alan and I went for an occasional drink. On getting home I asked Norah if it was time to get a car. She agreed saying she would like driving lessons too as I was starting them. Norah passed her driving test! And happily waving her pass slip Norah set off on her first solo journey to Basford to collect my Mum for a little celebration.
Coming home in the car on her own one day shortly after passing her test Norah was surprised to be flagged down by an out of breath policeman who opened the passenger door, jumped in the car, pointed to someone in the distance and ordered Norah to “Follow that man !!”. Norah did so and the fugitive was duly apprehended.  When the policeman called at our house the next day to thank Norah, she told him that next time she wanted to hear “Follow that car!” – which she said would have been far more exciting!
In November 1975 I was promoted to H M Inspector of Taxes and transferred to Manchester where Norah and I bought our present home.
On moving to Sale in 1975 we thought it would be nice to learn to dance properly and socialise so we booked lessons at Borrows Dance School in Altrincham. There we met David and Yvonne who were to become our great friends considered as family and they remain so to this day – we love them dearly along with children Gareth and Claire, their children and spouses. As time went by dancing days were replaced by Theatre Nights and regular visits to each other’s houses for supper. How Norah loved all of this! So did I !
Norah’s dancing earned her many compliments and even a trophy which is proudly on display here at home!
Norah regularly drove back and to on our frequent trips back to Crewe – many times as a solo driver. She decided not to renew her driver’s licence about 12 years ago due to the early onset of her PSP symptoms which were not recognised as such at the time.
Our very dear lifelong friends Jim and Carol Leviston with children Clive and Ian moved from Germany to Warrington in late 1975 so all our dearest friends were within easy reach.
We were not able to have children of our own so we applied to adopt. We got Carol aged 6 weeks in 1977 – and she cried all the way home in the car. We got Peter in 1979 – he was 8 weeks with lots of beautiful blonde hair and would not sleep. Carol chose his name and gave him a fluffy toy to welcome him home. Our family was complete with children we happily chose to have as ours to love and cherish.
And how we all loved it when the family came up from Crewe –Norah well remembered Beverley and Stephanie playing on the swing on the apple tree and cries from all the excited children laughing and running around and hiding in the garden – happy days!
Norah was a lovely lady and really did have a lot of love as the perceptive wallpaper customer spotted.
This love was especially shared with children – our own - and those in Sunday School, The Boy’s Brigade and those who she looked after at home along with Carol and Peter for many years when she became a registered childminder. “Auntie Norah” to so many.
Early family holidays were spent at Ffrith Beach in Prestatyn in a caravan – often in bracing weather but always great fun and character-building stuff!
The late 1980’s brought about a big change. My brother Bert and wife Olga bought a flat in a residential area of Vilanova not far from Barcelona. We regularly caught the Eurolines bus for Spain at Marks and Spencer’s in Sale as Vilanova became the first choice for holidays. In later years we went by car and even flew. Along with the children Norah and I made good friends over there –Ana Blesa, Joaquin and his mother along with Herbie and Aurora and many others. We enjoyed the different way of life. My Niece Ellen married Cristian and lived nearby and in due time they were blessed with the arrival of George – my great nephew. George recalls with delight the exploits of Auntie Norah in her wheelchair rushing headlong apparently out of control and narrowly missing trees and obstacles at great speed – all in fun of course! Sadly, brother Bert and wife Olga are no longer with us but Norah and I often talked with great fondness of our Spanish family and friends and the lovely memories from those days.
As a change from childminding at home Norah went to Peter and Cath Law to act as nanny at their house to Ruth, Claire, Joseph, Philip and Anna. Nicholas arrived as Auntie Norah retired. So, for many years we got a sort of lovely extended family who Norah adored and who adored Norah in return. Even in retirement she remembered them all with great love including dear Anna who is no longer with us. Norah did not forget their birthdays or Christmas and when she could no longer see to write their cards and do their presents, she insisted I sort these out for her.
Taking the Law children to school found us wonderful friends Andree, Adelmo, Liliane and Tony who became very close to us and we love them dearly.
 I think because Norah, Andree and Liliane were so alike in their ways, stature and appearance they rightly thought of themselves as sisters. Cappuccino coffee and treats became a regular feature of our Tuesday mornings. And here they are with us for Norah’s funeral - on a Tuesday morning!
Norah was President of The Ladies Tuesday Club at Carrington Lane Methodist Church for a number of years and latterly an enthusiastic Member of The Woodheys Club Bingo group. Norah had a wide range of interests and skills – driving, knitting, church, cooking, reading, computers and electronic gadgets, gardening, jigsaws, travel as well as dancing and darts! So sad she lost these to PSP.
In 2003 she loved our trip to Ireland (a 60th birthday present to me from our children) and this led to the rediscovery of my very large family in Kilkenny and later Cork. Seeing so many people with faces and mannerisms so similar to those of my mother was unreal for us both. We loved them all and they loved us – especially Norah whose smile won everyone over. Later trips provided yet more happy reunions for us all and it is comforting to have Liam and Charlotte here from Kilkenny in support of us all and representing our dear Irish family.
Children Peter and Carol met their future spouses and married them.
Peter married Natalia three times - twice in November 2010 in Sorocaba. Two weddings were in Brazil and the third was a Blessing at Elm Bank Eccles conducted by the very same Rev Rob Anning who has come out of retirement today to officiate for Norah’s Thanksgiving and funeral. Through Natalia we met her wonderful Mum and Dad Ivonete and Wanderley and siblings William and Wellington and their wives in Sorocaba. Norah and Ivonete were the same size and immediately bonded as “sisters” sharing many jokes and chats despite language problems. “Meu irmão” Wanderley got on with us like a house on fire and Natalia’s brothers and their wives and little Tavinho became an instant delightful addition to our family much appreciated by Norah and me.
Carol married her handsome Gavin in a spectacular setting Dubrovnik on 4th July 2015 and instantly our family expanded once more as we embraced Sheila and Dugie and Gavin’s brother into our circle. Not to be outdone by Peter, Carol (and her lovely Gavin of course) had their Wedding Blessing a few weeks later so can claim to have married twice. Norah looked so happy at these events as the many photos illustrate.
And so to Grandchildren. Kian arrived first to Peter and Natalia fulfilling Norah’s dearest wish to be a Grandmother. Next Carol and Gavin were blessed with Charlie. Then Zara as sister to Kian was followed shortly after by Sienna as sister to Charlie.
That was when we first heard the oft repeated declaration from Norah that she was “a Grandmother of four”. I cannot express the joy she felt knowing Carol and Peter were blessed with “one of each” for her to touch, cuddle, love and adore. And she did just that!
Norah’s PSP first manifested itself in 2008 as a “No No!” head tremor. We got a letter referring her to the specialist neurologist at Salford Royal Hospital who treated her with Botox. Ever curious about the cause of her tremor and who was treating her, Norah decided to use Google. In all innocence she put the neurologists name in the search box and hit the enter key. From a distance I saw her stunned horrified reaction to the search results. As I got to her this quickly changed to falling about crying with laughter as she studied the various hits for “Dr Dick”! Amazing results! Don’t go there!
Norah also enjoyed hosting Ladies Evenings at my Masonic Lodges in Stoke and Urmston where she was feted as the principle lady on two occasions. And she was the loveliest lady there bravely responding at length to the Toast to the Ladies in a speech in front of about 100 people on each evening!  Norah and I enjoyed attending many other Masonic Ladies Evenings as guests from 1976 to 2016 when her health no longer permitted.
Life became increasingly difficult for Norah as PSP robbed her of her dignity, and much of her memory. Falls gave her bruises broken bones and black eyes. Increasing deafness adding to her woes, along with speech and swallowing difficulties. Severe headaches and clinical depression were also part of her condition. But right to the end she still had that beautiful smile and wicked sense of humour even in the most trying of moments. Ask her how she was and her invariable answer was ” Fine!” So brave!
Norah needed a wheelchair for many years. In 2015 her Healthcare Professionals advised she should really be in full time care in a Care Home. Neither of us wanted that! So, we managed with a number of occasional short stays in Care homes of varying quality to give me a little respite and recharge my batteries. With this, one way and another we got by and kept Norah at home.
Happily, we found our lovely home help Cheree and she was a real treasure keeping me and the house in good order – not an easy task! Norah loved all the cheerful “girlie chats” and giggles and hearing about Cheree’s family.
In a consultation in 2016 Norah asked her PSP specialist directly how long she had left. He said she probably had about 3 years and she had managed her condition very well which had started with the tremors as long ago as 2008.
We were really lucky to find Abbey Nursing a couple of years ago who looked after Norah with that great love and dedication their Calling requires. The hour and a half initial daily care grew to 6 hours per day in recent months and was due to go up to 8 hours just at the time Norah went into Faversham House.
We were really blessed with many lovely caring carers. Their humour, love and devotion were a joy to behold and they and Norah had a lot of fun, hugs and kisses!
Special Thanks go to the Nursing Staff from Faversham House Nursing Home who so lovingly looked after Norah for her last four and a half weeks. Hugs and kisses and high fives were the order of the day there – and full support for the family with food and beds during the long final vigil over Christmas was cheerfully and freely given. Thank you, Ellie, Dawn, Mandi, Deborah, Amanda and all your lovely colleagues – the family appreciate all you did to care for Norah and us and help us through our darkest moments.
We were comforted that Norah’s passing was eased with all the beautiful Christmas Carols on Classic FM playing quietly in the background. They played Norah’s favourite “Away in a Manger” many times and we are sure Norah could hear this as she sometimes tried to smile when it was on.
When her final moment came at 15.49pm on Boxing Day, Norah was cradled in the loving arms of Carol, Peter and myself.
A lovely lady so full of life and love – we will miss her dearly. Norah has a new hairdo today and is wearing her favourite party outfit for “one more step along the world”.
RIP my dearest darling Norah – my “little wobbly one” – your many friends and family all love you so much and wish you peace.
Douglas xxx